Divorce - it’s not a pretty word and, as ‘Brangelina’s’ split continues to dominate headlines, we’re reminded how emotionally draining a process it can be. As you sign on the dotted line, the ‘legal dissolution’ of your marriage is confirmed. It’s over. It’s done.
Everybody’s story is different but, just because ‘it’s over’, doesn’t mean it’s the end. This is just another chapter in your life story; a chapter in which you can grow, discover, learn and become empowered. So, whether you’re nursing a broken heart or breathing a sigh of relief, we’ve put together some steps to get you heading in the right direction after divorce.
Accept the Past
You can’t turn back the clock but acceptance takes time. Talk to friends and family about how you feel, cry, get angry and mourn your marriage, but don’t let it overrule you. Don’t harvest bitterness or allow negative feelings to take control of your life, as you’ll soon find you’ve ground to a halt. However difficult it may seem at first, learn to take strength from your situation, not self-pity, as it’ll make moving forward much easier.
Look to the Future
The future doesn’t have to be a scary prospect, so make it an exciting one. You’re no longer tied to the role of ‘wife’, that’s a thing of the past now. As a sense of lost identity is not unusual in these situations, you’ll need to determine what’s important to you. Learn from your mistakes, reflect on your life experiences and use this knowledge to establish what your priorities are.
Set Yourself Goals
Setting yourself goals is a great way of building your confidence levels back up again. From decluttering the kitchen to starting a college course, venturing out of your comfort zone will do you wonders. Break bigger goals down into smaller steps and pursue the dreams you never thought would be possible. Don’t worry about how you’re going to get there, things always fall into place in the end.
Be sure to embrace the opportunities your new life presents. Give yourself some ‘me’ time; go and explore a new city, indulge in a little self-reinvention, challenge yourself to do something that scares you, catch up with old friends you haven’t seen in years. Most importantly though, use this time to figure out what you want for your life from now on and commit to being happy again.
Learn to Love You
Cherish the newfound independence that you have and be good to yourself while doing it. Happiness comes from within so, as you embark on your single-life adventure, do so with positivity. There’s something good in everyday (even on your darkest ones) and, remember, this is only one chapter in your whole life story…make it one worth reading.